Sharing My Heart
by devoted2inuyasha
Summary: Oneshot. Kagome already has much in common with Inuyasha, but it takes a rainy and intense night in Feudal Japan for Kagome to discover the most important thing they share: the same heart. Rated for language and mentions of cutting.


A dwindling fire lit up the otherwise dark, damp cave. It was a small structure, with a tiny mouth and a narrow throat, located deep in the forest of Inuyasha. Inside, the ground was littered with rocks of all sizes, a few small branches, tall weeds and all of it across a dry, cracked ground. While it wasn't much to look at, it offered sufficient shelter. Because of its thick roof, the cave floor was prevented from drinking of the rain that was drowning the trees and grass just beyond its lips.

The rain had started an hour or two before sunset as a light drizzle, but now it was well past midnight, and the pitter-patter had grown louder and harder. Now the rain was pouring, lightning strikes were illuminating the sky, and booming thunder periodically erupted. Being the time for summer showers, the display certainly wasn't unexpected. In fact, it was undoubtedly a welcome sight for many. But for six companions, it was the exact opposite.

Not only was the firelight shining on the walls and floor of the old cave, but its red-orange shadow was shifting over a group of sleeping friends. They had stopped to take shelter from the rain to the chagrin of the group's leader, Inuyasha. Their plan was to visit Kaede, hoping to gather more clues on Naraku's whereabouts, but with the clouds darkening and night falling, they doubted they'd have time to reach her. Inuyasha insisted that they would, but as usual, the group disagreed, and voted to stay in the cave where safety and shelter would be assured. Soon after, they started a warm fire, ate some steaming ramen, lay down together and drifted off to sleep. All except for Kagome.

Due to the tight quarters, everyone needed to lay quite close to each other in order to make room. This was somewhat of a plus because the night was freezing cold, and lying near one another would help distribute body heat. Needless to say, Miroku was ecstatic. Also needless to say, he went to bed with several red hand prints plastered over his face, but still with Sango by his side. Kagome and Inuyasha slept in the same position, only they were located near the front of the cave while the other couple slept in the rear. Between the pairs, Kirara and Shippo were peacefully curled up, their stomachs rising and falling to the beat of the rain.

But Kagome Higurashi was wide awake. She had tried to fall asleep, but the loud thunder cracks made it impossible for her to keep calm. Every time she got comfortable, another one would jolt her out of her skin, and she'd scrunch her legs closer to her chest.

However, it wasn't just the weather that was causing her sleeplessness. In fact, it had more to do with her location than the unpleasant atmosphere. She was lying only inches from Inuyasha.

The strange part was, it wasn't as if she hadn't lain near him before. Many a night like this had forced her to take shelter beside his body. But it was somehow different this time. Maybe it was the dreary weather. Or the wind, moaning its melancholy ballad. It could have been due to lack of sleep, or the fact that she hadn't seen her family in weeks. She couldn't have said exactly what had triggered her uncomfortable mood, but it was unshakeable. And Inuyasha was only adding to her it.

She let her eyes drift over him, every inch of him. His soft, silver hair; his furry ears, which would occasionally twitch at a particularly loud thunderbolt; his lips, firmly pursed together; his arms, long and muscular and…everything. Everything about him was wonderful, not only on the outside but on the inside too.

Though he could certainly be gruff and arrogant and self-sufficient and rude, he could also be sensitive, protective, loving and understanding. Kagome's mind flashbacked to all the times he expressed care and concern for her. He was always lending her his cloak, always checking to see that she was right behind him, and always wanting to know she was safe. He would grab her from a demon whose fingers were just about to alight on her body, and snatch her from fingers that had already claimed her. He spent most of his nights with his eyes wide open, making sure she and her companions were still where he had left them. She didn't know quite why he was so intent on keeping her safe, all she knew was that she loved him for it. When she would go home, she found herself dreaming about him while she should be studying and thinking of him while her friends babbled about their crushes at school. She loved it when he finally came to bring her back to the Feudal Era and she could be at his side again. But could she tell him this? No.

She knew another girl thought of him just as she did. Kikyo. And she also knew that Kikyo was the only girl who would receive the same sentiments in return. The miko's thoughts wandered to her wrists, hidden neatly behind her long-sleeved school uniform. Only she knew how much it hurt to love someone knowing she couldn't have him. Every chance she got, she tried to instill in her mind that she shouldn't want her happiness over the dog-demon's next to her. He'd been through so much already. The least she could do was give him Kikyo. A sharp pain shot through both of Kagome's wrists. Apparently, she'd have to remind herself again soon.

But this time, even the thought of more punishment couldn't deter her. She wanted to be his so badly, and seeing him lie like that, peaceful and inviting, only fueled her desire. He was swallowing up her brain. She couldn't think of anything else but being next to him, having him hold her, and whisper sweet clichés into her ears through this dark, rainy night, and all others like it. Under normal circumstances, she would have been able to quell her emotion. But she didn't feel normal right now. Whatever had caused it, she'd lost control of her senses, her nerves, and her limbs. In this moment, all she wanted was to be close to him, and she was determined to do it.

Overcome as she was, she tentatively reached for the clawed hand about a foot in front of her. She told herself that just the feel of his fingers threaded through hers would be enough to calm her down. Though it was only his hand, it was still a part of him, and she prayed even a slight bit of contact would be enough to let her fall asleep. Closer, and closer she got. Every second another inch in the gap was closed and her hand only ached more for his. Finally, she was right above it, just hovering over his outstretched palm. She took a deep breath, and on her exhale, she let her fingers descend through his. For one delicious second, they were touching. But before Kagome had much time to realize she had actually done it- BOOM!- a thunder jolt rocked the small enclosure and Kagome immediately jerked her hand back.

Her breathing raced, to the point where she could feel her heart beating in her head. Her whole body was shaking, and her eyes had widened to the size of the full moon outside. Inuyasha's left ear twitched, but that was all the movement from him. Kagome let out a sigh of relief. And then, as if the lightning bolt had struck her mind, she realized the carelessness of her actions.

'What would I have done if I'd grabbed his hand, and he had woken up? He would have thought I was crazy!' She could just imagine the expression of disgust that would appear on his face. Inuyasha only held her hand or touched her at all for that matter if the situation demanded it—not because they just felt like being close to each other. Kagome was sure it was something he probably hated to do and it would have angered him to see her doing it now.

'Or…or what if I'd grabbed his hand and then fallen asleep? Everyone would have seen us in the morning and we never would have heard the end of it. And Inuyasha? He would have been so embarrassed. As the leader of the group, he always wants to feel stronger and more reliable than everyone else. If we were caught holding hands, everyone might regard him as soft and weak. He would never forgive me if that happened.'

Kagome was ashamed of herself and her rash decision. The chaotic sounds outside seemed to be screaming and howling at her, only increasing her guilt. But she had no one to confide in. Maybe if Sango had been awake she could have explained the situation to her and received some words of comfort. But no, Sango wouldn't understand. And if she told her about Inuyasha it would only be a matter of time before the word spread through the whole group. Really, the person she wanted to talk to was Inuyasha. He was always so reassuring whenever she was nervous or afraid. But it made no sense to talk to him about the very thing she was trying to keep secret from him. She sighed dejectedly. Utter confusion and sadness were sweeping over her heart, and there was no one to console her.

Her glance went to Inuyasha again, but she quickly looked away, lest she be tempted to do something stupid again. Then she had another thought.

'If I can't be with him, close to him, beside him, then I'll do the exact opposite. I'll go away, far away. Maybe if I can spend some time to myself I'll be able to face the fact that he doesn't want me, and look him in the eye like he was just another person.' The idea wasn't without its challenges, but seeing that Inuyasha was still sound asleep, she figured the timing was as right as any.

The night was pitch dark, but Kagome had been in this particular forest many times and figured she could find her way around. As for where she was headed, 500 years into the future sounded like the farthest distance available. Plus, it was nice knowing that when she got there, there would be a warm bed and familiar sights, sounds and surroundings to greet her. She'd get to see her family and she hoped just seeing their faces would instantly brighten her mood.

As luck would have it, the group had passed the well only a half-hour or so before finding the cave. Kagome was confident that she could retrace their steps. So, not wanting to waste any time, she noiselessly snatched up her belongings, took one last look around for any opening eyelids, looked upon Inuyasha one more time, and then headed into the furious storm.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A multi-branched lightning bolt illuminated the sky. Kagome, so wet even her skin felt soaked through, quickly looked around and ran forward. But then the light disappeared and the night was dark again. She'd have to wait for the next beam before she could go any further.

Kagome had been wandering around in the forest for what felt like hours, but was in fact only about three-quarters of one hour. Still, it was one quarter more than she had expected to be out in the unforgiving, rainy wilderness and she wasn't even close to her destination. So far, her trek had been incredibly slow-moving. The night was so dark that she could hardly see anything unless a lightning bolt appeared. So, ever since she left the cave, she'd been waiting on the beams to guide her through the forest. Needless to say, it wasn't the easiest nor the most efficient way to reach her destination.

Though she wouldn't have admitted it earlier, she couldn't hide it any longer. She was lost. Completely and utterly lost. But the storm howled on. It could care less about her plight. And there wasn't a soul in the forest who would have been willing or able to help her orient herself.

By this time, she was beginning to panic. Not only was she lost, but no one even knew she was missing. It would be hours before any one of her friends woke up to find her gone. And when they did, they wouldn't know where to begin looking. Granted, Inuyasha had a sharp nose, but after a long rain, it would be much harder to pick up her scent.

Besides, it wasn't even a guarantee that Kagome would make it until morning. She was already shivering and tired, not to mention there were thousands of menacing demons crawling around. She had absolutely no defense.

Exhausted, Kagome sat down with her back against a large, strong oak. With distraught eyes, she stared into the darkness, trying to think of some way to save herself. Her face was being covered in beads of rainwater, but she didn't care. To her, the situation was hopeless. She wished that some answer would fall out of the grey clouds, or that the lightning would permanently light the sky so she could find her way. But she knew better. Unable to contain her grief, she closed her eyelids, rested her forehead against her legs that were pushed against her chest and began to cry. But not for long.

Suddenly, Kagome heard a noise overhead. Her head instantly shot up to inspect the rustling branches above her.

'That's odd,' she mused, 'they were perfectly still before.'

Seeing nothing, she proceeded to put her head down again, when she distinctly heard something hiss. This time Kagome knew she wasn't imagining things. And before she had a chance to plan a course of action, it struck.

Hurling out of the branches straight for her head came a python demon. It had all the characteristics of a normal snake except it was much bigger. The reptile was as long as the tree was high, and about as thick as Kirara's waist in her full-size form. Watching from a distance, you could distinguish the many bright yellow horizontal strips along its body, easily visible against its black body. Kagome screamed as loud as her lungs allowed and lunged to her right, just as the snake connected with the ground she had been resting on. Once it hit ground, it slithered onward until its whole body was on the forest floor.

Kagome looked on in sheer terror as it opened its mouth to reveal its pure white fangs. But besides its body markings and teeth, she couldn't see the rest of it because of the darkness. Still, when she saw the markings begin to form a circle around her body, she knew exactly what it was trying to do.

Breathing heavily, and feeling completely terrified, only one person came to her mind. Inuyasha. And even though Kami only knew how far away he was, she screamed his name as loud as she possibly could, again and again. The snake's circle got smaller and smaller as it got closer to its target. Though fear had frozen Kagome's legs, her voice was still working, and the desperate nature of the situation only made it louder.

"Inuyasha! Inuyasha! Inuyasha!" she kept yelling, tears forming again in her eyes. She knew she was going to die. If she ran, the snake would strike her, and if she sat, he would suffocate her. There was no way out. So, she pulled herself into a ball, figuring it would delay her death for as long as possible. But the monster got closer and closer, until it was touching her. Its scaly body made contact with her arms, and then her waist. Finally, it started constriction, and Kagome took one last deep breath in preparation. As the tightness became unbearable, she whispered Inuyasha's name one last time. He stayed at the front of her mind, even as she began to black out.

Then, her unexpected hero appeared.

"Kagome!" yelled a familiar male voice. Kagome was convinced she was hearing things. Her life flashing before her eyes must have been too cliché for her brain, so instead, it had decided to recreate the voice she'd been longing to hear all night as a final before-death experience. How considerate of her subconscious, she thought begrudgingly.

Still, she managed the courage and the strength to look up, just to make sure. Her eyes met a red-clothed figure, his claws outstretched, headed straight for the demon encircling her. She managed a smile for her savior, whom she wasn't even sure was real. Then she passed out.

A split-second later, Inuyasha's talons made contact, slitting the demon wide open. Blood sprayed everywhere, all over the trees and the ground, a little on Inuyasha, and a lot on Kagome. The demon, cut in several pieces, fell to the ground, immediately releasing its prey. A lifeless Kagome landed limp on the muddy forest floor. Inuyasha sprang to her side, desperate to see if she was still alive.

He put his face up close to her mouth. Relief washed over him. She was breathing. With bloodied hands that were steadily being cleansed by the ever-pouring rain, he gently shook her side. The rocking motion eased Kagome back into consciousness. At last, her eyes fluttered open, coming into contact with Inuyasha's concerned ambers.

Upon seeing his beautiful face right in front of her, Kagome nearly choked on her breath. She had wanted him close, and here he was: close. Why in the world was he here? How could he have possibly known to come looking for her? And why didn't she care about knowing the answers to these questions? She wanted him to look at her the way he was now forever. He was staring into her eyes like she was the only girl in the world, like no one else existed or mattered. If circumstances had been different, and if Inuyasha actually returned her feelings, she could almost imagine him kissing her right about now. And even though she knew it wouldn't happen, it was nice to think about.

All this ran through Kagome's mind in the space of about two seconds, which can seem like two years to an impatient half-demon.

"What the hell, Kagome?" he screamed into her face, his look of concern turning to one of wrathful frustration. "What could have possibly given you the idea to come out here, by yourself, in the dark, on the most Kami-forsaken night of the entire year? You are absolutely insane. Do you know that?" Inuyasha spoke the last sentence with his face shoved into hers, spitting each word out as a child might spew out his broccoli.

Kagome was heartbroken. Even though she knew her fantasy had no hope of coming true, it hurt to be shoved into reality so quickly and so violently. Now, the one person that she wanted to please most in the world was disgusted with her, and it was her fault. She didn't know what to do. Part of her wanted to run, hoping she'd magically be beamed to the well and escape Inuyasha coming after her. Another wanted to break down and cry; no explanation, no apology, just a long, overdue out pouring of sadness. But Inuyasha had just saved her life—again. She couldn't leave without even muttering a "thank you." Besides, she already knew it was hopeless to try to find her way in this weather alone.

"I'm sorry, Inuyasha," she whispered, so softly that even Inuyasha's supersensitive hearing barely caught it.

"Keh. Sorry doesn't cut it, wench. You could have been killed tonight!" Inuyasha stood up, and turned around, as if to start back to the cave. He was right, he thought to himself. She could have been killed. Dead. The very idea chilled his blood. What in the world would he have done with himself if Kagome had died? He tried to tell himself that the important thing was that she _hadn't_ died, but he was unable to do so.

'What could have possibly convinced her to put herself in such danger?' But no answer came to mind. And as he wasn't willing to risk such an incident again, he was determined to find out how he could prevent future occurrences.

"You haven't even answered my question," he reminded her, in a tone that was filled with anger, both towards her recklessness and his inability to rescue her sooner. "Why are you here? What was so important that it couldn't have waited until morning?"

She couldn't tell him. She didn't dare tell him. And she was so mad at herself for being so idiotic, so swept up in her "romantic" feelings that she didn't even bother to check if her head was screwed on straight. Not one plausible excuse came to mind for her actions.

Inuyasha kept staring her straight in the eye, awaiting her response. The response, however, never came. Instead of an answer, she asked him a question, something that had been gnawing at her since the moment he had appeared.

"How did you know I was in trouble? How did you find me?" she said, her voice nervous and tentative. She knew the answer would be different than the one she wanted.

The dog demon crossed his arms and snorted. "It was that damn Shippo. The storm woke him up, and the thunder scared him, so he went to sleep with you. But you weren't there. So, he woke _me_ up, crying and blubbering about how you were gone and how I had to go find you. I would've gone back to sleep," a lie, he told himself, but he wasn't going to tell her that, "but the runt wouldn't shut up, so here I am. Happy? You're lucky I found you. If it weren't for you screaming my name and the fact that your scent is so obvious, I never would have found you in time."

'Sure, blame everything on Shippo,' he chided to himself, 'you know you were as worried as he was when you realized Kagome was gone. You really are lucky he noticed she was missing, or…or…' He couldn't bring himself to think about her death again.

"Oh." She replied. Typical Inuyasha response. She knew even if it hadn't been the truth, he would have said it anyway. It kept him independent from everyone, saying that he didn't care whether she was gone or not. She wished he would be willing to rely on someone else, but she knew there was no chance of that happening.

"Now, are you gonna tell me what you're doing out here, or are you gonna ignore me all night?" Silence greeted him. "Gods Kagome, I just freaking saved your life and you won't even tell me why I had to in the first place?!? Why the hell are you acting like this?"

Kagome couldn't stand it when he screamed at her like that. Especially now, when she was already shaken up and sad to begin with. She couldn't carry this conversation any longer, or else she was sure she would break down.

"Inuyasha, I said I was sorry," she said as calmly and patiently as she could. "I just wanted to go home. That's why I came here in the first place, and that's still where I'm headed. You can argue with me all you want, but you might as well save your breath, skip the argument, and take me to the well."

After all he had done for her, Inuyasha didn't expect this type of response. If Kagome hadn't have looked so serious, he would have thought she was joking.

"Home? It's the middle of the night and you had to go home? You have some class that meets at 3 a.m. or something? Or did you just think it would be easier to get away from me while I was sleeping? Well, I ain't buying it. I know there's another reason and you're going to tell me. But first, let's just get out of this rain. I'll take you back to the cave and you can tell me in the morning. Now, follow me and for the moment I'll try to pretend this whole thing never happened."

"No, Inuyasha," Kagome firmly responded, her teeth gritted together. "I told you I'm going home, and I am." As she spoke, she stood up, though her legs were still shaking in fear from the demon's attack earlier. She had to get away from him, his presence was so intoxicating. It was like he was torturing her, and it was getting harder and harder not to give in and reveal her secret love for him. Of course, he had no idea he was having such an effect on her, which was what hurt the most. "You can go back to the cave or you can come with me, but with or without you, I'm going." She kept her eye on him while she spoke, and she continued to do so as she started to walk towards him, stepping over the snake demon's remains as she did so. Her gaze was fierce, showing Inuyasha the force behind her words. Then with a final flash of her chocolate eyes, she pushed past him and restarted her quest for the well.

Inuyasha didn't want her going home, but it was obvious that she was determined. For whatever reason, this really meant a lot to her, and if he didn't let her go now, he figured she'd only try to leave again later. Most likely, if she did so, she'd only find herself in a similar situation again, and he refused to let that happen. Plus, he didn't want to have to use force to stop her. Every decision she made should be hers, he thought. If he held her against her will, she'd hate him for it. And he couldn't live knowing she hated him. So, although he didn't like, he followed the wayward priestess into the rainy darkness, keeping his eyes and ears alert for any danger that might befall her.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Kagome's shoes sloshed in the mud each time she took a step. Inuyasha's feet were no doubt getting covered in the substance too, but both took no notice of it. It had been several thousand footsteps and at least a thousand seconds since the two had spoken to each other. Neither was thrilled with the situation they had found themselves in, but both felt it best to keep silent about it.

Inuyasha was preparing himself for her departure. It would be hard being without her. They couldn't make any progress in their mission to kill Naraku, and it would be his responsibility to keep Shippo entertained while she was gone. But worst of all would be that she wouldn't be with him. Not walking next to him, not on his back, not fighting with him, not near him—nothing. Of course these were reasons he would never divulge to her, as they were all things he himself didn't want to accept. He knew he cared for her, but he also knew she had no reason to care for him. So, he kept his mouth shut, knowing the sooner she left, the sooner she would be back. He just hoped that she was only going to be gone a few days and not any longer.

Little did he know that the girl walking next to him was having similar thoughts. On the one hand, she was glad to be going home. She'd be around her friends and family who she knew loved her and would be there for her. It was doubtful that a single harsh word would be uttered against her while she was with them. Plus, she wouldn't have to be constantly dodging demons and worrying that her friends were going to die at any moment.

On the other hand, returning to her era meant leaving Inuyasha. In some respects, this was a good thing. It would give her a chance to collect her emotions so that she could prevent another ridiculous breakdown like this from occurring. Even now as she walked beside him, all she wanted was to fall into his arms. She wanted to be held and kissed like she was Kikyo, and cared for like Kikyo. All of her being wished she could make him feel the way she felt about him. It was so incredibly painful sacrificing all of her effort, time, and feelings for someone who, though he would give his life for her, would do it purely out of duty and not out of love.

But leaving him was also a bad thing, because even though she knew he wasn't hers didn't mean that it was any easier to accept. Apart from him or near him, she still loved him. At home, not only would she not be near him during the night, but she'd be waking without him and living her day without him. She wouldn't be able to listen to his dark, melodic voice or watch the way he decidedly swung the Tetsusaiga and dodged enemy attacks. Instead of seeing him every day, all she'd have were memories of him. Granted, she had a lot of them, but thoughts aren't nearly as comforting as a person's presence.

Shyly, she looked at the strong hanyou walking next to her, trying to memorize as much as she could before she left. His strong, capable hands with their long, sharp nails; his stature, tall and confident; his bulky red hakama, keeping him as safe as possible; and his crystal eyes, burning like fire: the same eyes that made Kagome melt every time he touched her, every time he held her. But as she looked closer, she could see that there was another emotion in his usually calm orbs. It was frustration.

Though the frustration was actually caused because Inuyasha didn't want Kagome to leave, she didn't see that. Instead, she was assumed that he was angry at her. Frankly, she didn't blame him. She had snuck out in the middle of the night, almost gotten herself killed, and now he was having to follow her to the well. The girl was instantly saddened that'd she caused him so much trouble. Here she was, wishing he would love her, while the whole time he was only becoming more annoyed with her. Instead of giving him a reason to like her, she was only becoming a burden, something she knew she'd been ever since she broke the Shikon jewel in the first place.

It was at this time that the two reached the well, but instead of being happy, Kagome was more upset than ever. All her pondering and the mini revelation she'd just experienced only ripped her heart farther apart. She'd been able to hold the stinging water back for a while now, but she knew she couldn't hold it much longer. However, the well was only a few steps away.

'I don't want to him to see me crying, it will only make him more upset with me. I'm so close to home, I know I can make it that far.' So, lowering her head, she started walking faster for the object in front of her. She knew she couldn't manage a word or goodbye to Inuyasha without tears, so she didn't say anything to him as she continued her quickened pace.

Inuyasha, however, wasn't about to let her leave without an explanation. Her mood seemed to have darkened even during the short walk they had spent together. He'd never seen her so upset, and he couldn't bear seeing her like this.

"Kagome," he barked at her, trying to get her attention, "what is your _problem_? You wouldn't tell me earlier, but you're going to tell me now. I did as you asked; I took you to the well. Yet, you're still unhappy. Isn't anything I do good enough for you? Answer me!" A boom of thunder sounded after his last exclamation, furthering adding emphasis to his frustration.

Kagome was completely silent. It hurt to have him yell at her, and she was truly sorry that she didn't have the heart to answer him. But she refused to tell him so. If she let one word slip from her lips, it would be her emotional downfall. So she kept walking. But that wasn't going to go over well with Inuyasha.

"Oh, no you don't!" he said, sensing her plan. He walked right in front of her and crossed his arms. "I asked you a question. And you're not leaving until you answer. What the _hell_is your freaking problem, Kagome?!?"

She wouldn't answer him. She couldn't. Her tears were so close to falling. But the well was closer. So, she took another step toward it, even though it was a step right into Inuyasha. 'Maybe,' she thought desperately, 'he'll drop it. I just have to show him how much leaving means to me right now.

The half demon was growing impatient with her, not at all swayed by her stubbornness. At first he was conscious of her mood and wanted to give her the space she needed. But in his mind, he had given her all the space she could possibly need, and that hadn't worked. So, he was moving to Plan B. Force.

Grabbing her wrists, he pulled her up against his face. "What in _Kami's_ name is your problem, Kagome? Tell me now!" He shouted it right into her face, so close that his nose was almost touching hers.

Kagome couldn't bear him so close. His lips, his soft, inviting lips were so close, and even though they were cursing her, all she could imagine was them saying how he liked her scent, how he would always be there to protect her and how he needed her with him. But no, she had gone and made him upset and now he was yelling at her. Not only that, but he had grabbed her wrists. The tight grip he had on them not only conjured up physical pain, but emotional pain as well, forcing her to remember why her wrists hurt so much, why they had been bothering her all night. They weren't bleeding, but Inuyasha was certainly giving them a bruising by clutching them so hard. Tears were flooding her eyes, but she blinked them back. She couldn't cry, not now, not in front him like this.

Her seemingly emotionless silence angered Inuyasha immensely. He couldn't take it anymore, and his temper was rapidly getting the best of him. As a last resort, he removed his hands from her wrists, grabbing her shoulders instead. Using his arms and his own body weight he then roughly shoved her against a nearby tree.

"What the _freaking hell_ is your problem, Kagome?!?" he said, yelling the question so loudly that it continued to echo in the forest long after he had let it slip past his lips.

Whether it was his soul-searching stare, his ear piercing screams, his hands clutching her, his body against hers or some other reason, understandable or otherwise, Kagome didn't know. But whatever it was, she couldn't be silent and she couldn't hold her emotions back any longer.

"It's you! You're my problem! You're killing me, Inuyasha!! Can't you see that?!?"

Instantly, Inuyasha let her go. With nothing to hold her up, Kagome slid to the ground, her back still against the legendary tree. She buried her head in her hands and finally started sobbing, harder than she had ever done so in her life.

Inuyasha was utterly speechless. That wasn't the answer he was expecting at all! He thought he'd been pretty nice to her lately. They had fought fewer times than usual, and she had even refrained from "owsuwari"-ing him for several weeks. Things had been going so well, and now she was accusing him of killing her?

His eyes, filled with confusion, lingered on Kagome. Had he even heard her right? What could have happened to make her say that? He wasn't sure whether to be angry at her for overacting, or to apologize for doing—well, whatever he had done wrong. Either way, it hurt him to hear her charge him with such a thing.

The dog demon gulped and then asked, "What do you mean, Kagome?" His voice sounded both concerned and annoyed at the same time. Inuyasha was a master at such mixed vocal tones.

The poor miko managed to make eye contact with him, even though her eyes were red and her cheeks were coated in tears.

"I don't want to talk about it," she said sniffling. Forcing herself up, she brushed her skirt off, though it did nothing to get rid of the mud stains. "Please, don't make me. I shouldn't have said anything. I'm just tired and homesick." Even though she was embarrassed at saying as much as she had, she was glad that it had thrown him into a kind of daze. 'If he's too stunned to speak, he'll be too stunned to move, and I'll be able to reach the well,' she reasoned. So, she tried to edge past him to reach her destination.

Unfortunately for her, Inuyasha was coming out of his "daze" rather speedily, and all his limbs were still quite capable of function. "You can't tell me I'm freaking killing you and expect to walk off without giving me an explanation, wench!" As it had worked before, Inuyasha grabbed both of her wrists in his hands, only this time much harder. Kagome tried to stop herself, but the pain was excruciating, and she cried out in agony.

Though her exclamation grated on his heart, her reaction made him suspicious. Granted, his half-demon strength was greater than that of a human's, but it wasn't as if he was choking her wrists. He'd grabbed them other times, during battle for instance, and she'd never complained. But now, she was favoring them, like a dog would favor a wound. Something strange was going on, and he wasn't letting go until he'd figured out what it was.

Tears sprang fresh to the miko's eyes, but Inuyasha still wouldn't give in. With his thumbs he gently felt all over Kagome's wrists, seeing if he could sense anything strange. As Kagome's school shirt sleeve was very thin, it was quite an easy task. After only a few strokes, he realized that her skin wasn't smooth, but bumpy. It was rough too. Feeling her skin felt like rubbing sandpaper through a piece of silk.

Without bothering to ask permission, the hanyou pushed her right sleeve up to her elbow. An expression of horror filled his face. Kagome looked at her wrist, and tried desperately to keep him from uncovering the other one. But he was too quick for her. One second later, the other sleeve was pushed up in the same fashion, leaving her secret completely exposed. Both wrists were pink. There were a few fresh slits on each wrist as well, bright red, and threatening to reopen if Inuyasha placed any more pressure on them.

Kagome tried to reclaim her hands, but the dog demon held firmly, though more gently this time. Giving his attention solely to the patches of scars between his claws, he finally spoke.

"Who did this to you?" he snarled in the most threatening voice she had ever heard him use. It sounded like his full demon voice, but she was sure he hadn't transformed. Still, it sent chills through her spine, and for a split second, it made her fear him.

Kagome felt like someone had just shoved a knife up against her throat. What was she going to tell him? The entire night had been simply awful, and just when she thought nothing else could go wrong, this happened. She couldn't tell him she loved him and she couldn't tell him why her wrists were covered in scars. It was a wonder she had anything she could tell him truthfully. But she didn't want to talk to him anymore, no matter what the subject. She'd told him enough already and she was tired of crying in front of him.

"Inuyasha," she said, looking at his face, even though it was still entranced by her wrists. "You brought me here so I could go home. If you let me go, I promise I'll explain everything later. But for now, please, let me leave." She tugged to escape, but to no avail. It was clear to her now that there was absolutely no way she was going to go home before all this was explained.

"Whoever it was that did this is about to get his throat ripped out! Was it Koga? Or that Hojo friend of yours?" Inuyasha growled as he mentioned their names. He never had trusted either of them. Then looking Kagome in the eye, he said menacingly, "I don't care if it's a human or youkai. I'll make him wish he'd never been born, and I swear to you he'll never touch you again, Kagome!"

"Inuyasha, no!" Kagome screamed, scared for the lives of the friends he had mentioned. What would she do if anyone was unjustly slayed for a crime she had committed herself? She had to keep them safe, and the only way to secure their safety was to tell Inuyasha the truth. Even though it would be one of the hardest things she'd ever done in her life. "It wasn't Koga and it wasn't Hojo! Please, just please, don't hurt either of them!"

Still completely unconvinced, Inuyasha pulled her closer to himself and softened his tone. "Don't protect them Kagome," he said, his eyes still locked with hers, "Whoever it was doesn't deserve to live after hurting you." The last part lashed out of his throat. He was determined to find whoever had found the nerve to hurt Kagome. His mind was already formulating the most torturous, drawn-out death he could force her attacker to suffer through. That was why he was so stunned to hear the next words that came out of her mouth. She spoke them softly, and with her head turned, almost as if she was whispering them to someone behind her. But Inuyasha heard her loud and clear.

"If you really believed that anyone who hurts me should die, you would have had to kill yourself a long time ago."

"What?!?" Inuyasha exclaimed, incredulous at her response. Her words stunned him so much that he dropped her hands and felt as if he was going to black out.

Kagome looked him square in the eye, knowing she had to tell him the truth, and nothing but. Even if that meant the death of their relationship.

"I did it. Alright? I cut my own wrists."

Silence filled the forest. Even the thunder seemed to stop its booming in respect for the pair. Betrayal filled Inuyasha's face. 'Why would she willing cut her own wrists?' He thought, almost unable to look at them, knowing she had made the scars herself. 'And why haven't I noticed it until now?

Seeing his hurt, Kagome took a deep breath and continued.

"I've been cutting for a few months now. I had read an article that said that cutting helps people release negative feelings, flushes out their guilt, and makes them feel whole again. And that's exactly what I needed. I feel so guilty all the time for wanting my happiness over the happiness of others, like yours. And like…" she paused, but forced herself to say it, "Kikyo's." Inuyasha tried to interrupt her at that point, but she wouldn't let him. "I know that she loves you and that you obviously love her. I know I'm only her reincarnation, and that I can't compare to her in so many ways, but that doesn't help. I know I don't deserve you, and that you don't want me, but no matter what I tell myself, God damn it!—I love you anyway!" She paused again, trying not to let the gravity of her emotions overcome her. "Cutting helps remind me to be happy for you, to draw my happiness from yours. It punishes me when I forget to do that, yet at the same time it praises me when I remember."

She looked down at her wrists and smiled sadly. "I told you you're killing me, and that you're hurting me, but it isn't you slitting my wrists, it's me. You may be the reason I do it, but I'm the one who chooses to do it. You're not to blame; I am. I only faulted you beforehand because…I don't know why. I'm just mad at myself, I guess, and needed to take it out on someone.

Kagome listened for his response, but nothing came. In a way, she was almost happy that he wasn't saying anything. She was scared of what he would say to her when he did finally speak. So, trying to shift the mood into something less serious, she attempted to change the subject.

"I've just had a really hard night, Inuyasha. I think we've both had enough shocks for one day and I'd really like some time to unwind. You brought me here so I could go home, and now that I've explained everything, I have every right to leave. I just need some time to myself right now, but I'll be back soon as I can."

A long silence filled the area where Inuyasha and Kagome stood. Only by the occasional rumble of thunder was it interrupted. The two of them looked away from each other, each one trying to find something to say that wouldn't sound completely stupid. In the end, it was Inuyasha who found his voice first.

"How long?" he managed to say, still averting his gaze.

Kagome was surprised and slightly upset. She had just spilled out her heart to the guy who meant more to her than anything in the world, and all he wanted to know was how long she was going to be in her era. 'Oh well,' she thought, 'I should have known he wouldn't be willing to talk to me about anything more serious than ramen. I guess I should feel lucky. If we did talk about it, we'd just end up feeling foolish. Or spiral into a nasty debate about Kikyo. That wouldn't have been pretty.'

"I don't know how long I'll need," she responded quietly, "But I'll try to be as quick as possible. I'll stay until I feel better but only until then. If you let me go right now, I promise to forget that this conversation ever happened. You can visit Kikyo anytime you want and I won't complain. I'll never leave without permission and I promise to stay out of danger if I can help it. I just hope…I hope that my telling you all this won't make you hate me. I'd like it if we could still be friends. I know my having feelings for you must creep you out, so I'll never bring it up again. I promise I'll find all the shards with you if you'll let me stay and be there for the battle against Naraku. I'll even—"

"No, Kagome," Inuyasha whispered, "I mean, how long…have you loved me?"

Kagome's eyes immediately shot up. He _had_ heard her. But instead of being happy, she was terrified. He loved Kikyo, yet he was pretending to take interest in her feelings. She knew only heartache could come from answering his question. But his eyes, those beautiful eyes, were so kind. It comforted her to look at them. She saw that there was no anger or disgust in them. There was disbelief, but nothing that would make her feel threatened. She trusted him, and ultimately, that was what convinced her to respond.

"Since the day I first met you," she said softly, clutching her arms, trying hard not to look away as she spoke. "Every day I wish I didn't. I know you love Kikyo and I feel wretched for wanting you to settle for me instead. But I can't help it." Even as she spoke she noticed how stupid she sounded, which only made her more embarrassed. But she was glad, for her sake, that Inuyasha wasn't smirking or laughing at her.

"But why?" he questioned. Kagome was right. He was in disbelief. She just didn't realize how much. "Why me, of all people? I'm an inu-hanyou, an orphan, and I'm hardly ever nice to you."

Kagome sensed the same honesty in his words as she had just put into her own. He truly had no idea how anyone could love him. It was time that she put all fear of embarrassment aside so that she could make him see how wanted and liked he really was.

The corners of her mouth went up slightly as she thought of everything she wanted to say. Partly because she never thought they'd be having this conversation, but mostly because she loved trying to think about everything that made her love him.

"No, Inuyasha, you're not black and white. You may be half-demon, and you may be an orphan, but you're still a person. And, just like any other person, you're deserving of love and acceptance. You're strong and brave enough to protect your friends, but you also have a soft side that prevents your friends from fearing you. Every day you risk your life for the people you care for, whether they be Sango, Miroku, Shippo and I, or people you pledged your allegiance to years ago. You're not always transparent about it, but deep down inside, you do want to keep people safe and happy. You keep your promises, you never give up, and though your parents are gone, you've remembered every lesson they taught you. When you're rude sometimes, it's only because of your past, and not because you don't like someone. Besides, you've grown a lot since I met you. You care more about people and their feelings now more than you ever did before. Any girl would be lucky to call you her own. I just need time to be happy for the girl who does."

There. She had said it. Now he knew everything. He knew that she loved him, that she cared about him, that she admired him—everything she'd ever wanted to say had been said in a matter of minutes. In one sense she felt relieved, but in another, she was terrified. This new revelation had left her feelings completely exposed. But she'd said too much and been too honest to try and take it all back now.

Several minutes went by and Inuyasha didn't say a word. At first, Kagome continued to look at him for a reaction. Instead, all she got was a blank expression. It looked as if he was trying to take in everything she had said, so she decided to give him time to digest. To give him his space, she avoided eye contact, only checking back every so often to see if he was ready. But the silence never broke.

Dejection filled the young miko. He had rejected her. He wasn't talking to her now, and he wasn't going to ever again. Tears flooded back into her eyes, immediately streaming down her cheeks. Quickly, she stood up, but kept her head lowered against her chest. She wasn't going to show him how much he'd hurt her. She was leaving before she'd have to endure his silent mockery any longer.

"Goodbye for now, Inuyasha," she managed to say, her voice coated in heartbreak. "I hope to see you again soon."

Slowly, she half-way dragged herself over to the well, which wasn't far from where she had been standing. All purpose and passion had gone from her limbs. She'd practically handed her his heart and he didn't care a bit. A particularly loud roar of thunder didn't even shake her as she reached the lip of the well. Taking a deep breath, a last effort to calm her tears, she threw her left leg over the wooden structure, straddling herself over it. She sat there for a few seconds, grasping the wood in her hands, and staring into the void she was about to plunge inside. Mixed feelings reigned supreme in her heart. She wanted to leave him; she didn't want to leave him. But finally, she convinced herself to do it. With blurred vision, she threw her other leg over, which required her to position her hands behind her. Now she was facing the inside of the well and her back was to Inuyasha. In her head, she counted down her jump.

1…

2…

3!

When her mind got to three, she stiffened her arms to shove herself off the well's edge, but someone grasped her right wrist and she stunted her movement. She gasped slightly, and whipped her head to the side.

There, on bended knee, was Inuyasha. Immediately, her stunned, sad eyes met his soft, steady gaze. She had no idea when he had gotten there, but there he was, his clawed hand wrapped under her wrist. Shocked and confused didn't even begin to describe the expression on her face. She opened her mouth to say something, but then shut it. All she did was stare at him, literally lost in his gaze. Hardly ever did she see such a loving, caring look on his face.

Inuyasha didn't break his eye contact either. Nothing could tear him from her beautiful eyes. Instead, he lowered his head closer to Kagome's wrist, tenderly held in his grasp. He did it ever so slowly, and all the while, he never took his eyes off the girl in front of him. Finally, he reached her scarred wrist and lovingly pressed his smooth lips against it, his eyes still glued to hers. It was only a chaste kiss, but his amber spheres were filled with such passion and tenderness that it hardly seemed that way. He looked at her that way for several seconds. Then he gently put his head against her wrist and closed his eyes. "Kagome, please," he breathed, "don't leave me."

Kagome's breathing cut short. Her heart was beating faster than the lightning around her. A tentative smile graced her face as she took in the feel of the hanyou's soft head of hair on her arm. She closed her eyes. This was it. This was the moment she had dreamed about. Finally, he wanted to be near her, to touch her. And Kagome would have continued to let him do so. Until reality checked in.

'This is some sort of cruel joke,' she reasoned sadly. After all, this wasn't the first time he'd kissed her, gotten close to her, pretended to like her. She would have liked to believe that this time was different, it certainly felt different, but history showed that Inuyasha would never change. He'd always spend his love life in limbo between two mikos. Maybe Kikyo had accepted that, but Kagome refused.

A frown filled her previously innocent and captivated face. Then she tugged hard at her hand, trying to get him to let go. Instantly Inuyasha looked up, his eyes filled with hurt. Though it pained her, she ignored his expression and instead shouted exasperatedly, "Inuyasha, just let me go home already! Why do you insist on dragging this out when you know it's only hurting the both of us?" She kept trying to break free from his grip, but he held tight, staring at her wide-eyed. "This…this…" she stalled, gesturing to the hand Inuyasha was holding with a nod of her head, "is too painful for me! It has to stop! You just can't understand what it's like knowing…knowing—"

"—knowing you're in love with someone you can't have?" Inuyasha interrupted, springing to his feet as he did so, "Thinking they'll never accept you? Hoping that maybe they love you too, but having to blame it on wishful thinking? Thinking each day will make the hurt, the longing, and the love diminish, but really, it only intensifies? I understand what you're going through, Kagome! I understand maybe even better than you do."

Kagome had stopped struggling soon after Inuyasha had started to speak, becoming more and more incredulous at each question that came from his lips. She was in awe, complete disbelief. She just stared at him, knowing she looked ridiculous but feeling too surprised to care.

'Everything he said. That's exactly what I've been feeling. I couldn't have said it better if I wanted to. How could he have known all my emotions so perfectly? It's almost as if all this time, we've been sharing the same heart.'

Inuyasha's amber eyes sparked with desire and earnest. "You've told me what I've longed to hear for so long, that you accept me, that you've chosen me, and that you love me. Now, it's my turn. Kagome Higurashi, I accept you, I've chosen you, and I'm in love with you."

"How long?" she asked, just as he had moments earlier, in a voice that hardly seemed to be her own. She was amazed she was able to force any intelligible sound through her mouth at the moment.

Inuyasha smiled. Taking her hands, he twirled her around on the lip of the well so she was facing him. Then, he slowly brought his lips to her ear. "Since the very first day I met you," he whispered.

Kagome felt like she was dreaming. Was he really saying all of this? And to her of all people? Everything in her wanted to believe him, but her heart wasn't capable of shutting off the one nagging question in her mind.

"But Kikyo, Inuyasha?" she questioned, even though it hurt. She was afraid of his answer, but knew the question needed a response before she could continue. "What about her?"

"I only continued to see her because I thought you'd never want to be with me. I settled for her, even though every time I held her in my arms and every time she put her lips to mine I wished she was you. I thought I'd look like an idiot if I ever expected you, amazing and beautiful you, to leave Hojo or Koga behind for someone like me. I never dreamed that you'd ever deem me worthy of your love."

"Inuyasha…" smiled Kagome as she threw her arms around the hanyou's neck, placing herself in his lap. She couldn't take her eyes off him, and her smile was beaming, just like the rays of the sun that were beginning to rise in the distance. At last, the rain had let up and with the arrival of dawn came the clearing of all the grey clouds and thunder bursts. "I couldn't possibly care for either of them as much as I care for you," she exuded, her face only inches from his.

Inuyasha's smile was just as glowing as Kagome's. "I know that now," he returned. Then gently, he placed his hands on the arms around his neck. Slowly, he pulled them away from his body, sliding his hands downward until he reached her wrists. His eyes took on a sad look again. "You were right, you know. This is my fault. I could have stopped you from doing this to yourself. But I was too afraid to admit that I loved you. You could have been spared so much pain if I had just told you how I felt." He looked downcast for a few seconds longer, but then determination swelled within him, igniting his expression.

"Well, I'll never be shy to say it again. From now on, there won't be anything on earth that doesn't know I love you. I'll shout it through the forest, I'll shout it to the moon, and I'll shout it to the farthest star in space. Over and over again. Every ningen and youkai in Feudal Japan will know I love you. Because I never want to spend a second hiding my feelings again. Kagome, swear to me that you'll never harm yourself again. I couldn't bear it if I knew you were hurting yourself over me."

"I promise, Inuyasha. I know now that you really truly do love me." By this time, Kagome's eyes were filled with tears again. But this time, the tears were that of complete, all-consuming, never-ending joy. "And I promise I will never give you reason to doubt my feelings again." With that, Kagome threw herself around Inuyasha, her blissful face resting trustfully against his hakama-clad chest. "I love you so much," she whispered softly.

"Not as much as I love you," he whispered back.

Lifting her head up, she smiled at the half-demon above her. Then, he gently let his head fall closer to her lips, and she let her own lips drift up to meet his. Soon, the two lips met, caressing one another in steady intervals. Kagome had let her arms float back up around his neck while Inuyasha held her firmly by the waist. They stayed like that, just holding each other and kissing for a long while. Finally, the two broke apart for a rest and Kagome snuggled herself up against her beloved inu-hanyou.

"Look, Kagome," Inuyasha said with a smile in his voice, indicating the sky above. There, glittering against the morning sun lay the brightest, most multi-hued rainbow Kagome had ever beheld. She never would have imagined something so amazing could have blossomed from such a roaring, hopeless tempest. 'But then again, the rainbow wasn't the only proof of such a miracle,' thought Kagome happily as Inuyasha squeezed her tighter.

Moments ago, the only thing that Kagome wanted was to go home, but right now, nothing in the world could have made her leave. The impossible had occurred. The boy of her dreams returned her feelings. No longer would she have to live her life wishing and sighing for things to get better. Now everything was perfect. Now she had someone to hold her through the long, raging storms; she had someone to talk her through her rough days; she had someone who loved her unconditionally and she would never have to go through a night by herself. She felt truly wanted and truly loved for the first time in her life. The only thing that she wanted more than anything had been granted to her. Finally, happiness was in her grasp, and if she had anything to do with it, she was never going to let it go.

Snuggling closer to Inuyasha, she took another look at the sparkling rainbow. She was soaked, Inuyasha was soaked, mud was halfway up their legs, and even some blood from the python demon still lingered on their clothes. But the two were oblivious to everything but each other. Eventually they'd have to start back to the cave and start a long explanation to their soon-to-be confused companions. But for now, they weren't going to think about it. Today was a new day, and they weren't going to waste it like they had the many other days they'd been together.

Last night, Kagome felt too unwanted to even touch Inuyasha's hand. But tonight, the two would spend the night in each other's arms, as close as cuddling could possibly bring them. For once, they would pass a night being loved, not unwanted; assured, not wistful; together, and anything but alone. Before, they were only sharing their hearts. But from this day forward, they'd be sharing everything they had to give.


End file.
